And I realized that pain cant be eternal, because I can still make beauty from it. We hope you enjoyed it. Because before I could speak, I could gesture. This writer and performance artist is fighting for a world where all people are able to self-determine their gender. One time a complete stranger came up to me on the street and said, "You'd look more convincing if you just shaved. We know how to do it so well to other people because we were the first testing grounds. Cannot help but smile when your nurse shaves your right thigh for your bandage. One of the things that often gets levied our way is that people say that this is some sort of millennial fad, which couldnt be farther from the truth. And what I gained was my life back. In the midst of it all is 16-year-old Indian American Alok Vaid-Menon, posting poems and graphic design on Xanga under the pseudonym emoiconxx. That is the poetic work. And I remember speaking it and being like, whoa, this is what I, not just what I want to do for the rest of my life, but this is what I am. As a full-service talent booking agency, we have access to virtually any speaker or celebrity in the world. And what I gained was my life back. Alok Vaid-Menon on how the transphobic narrative constructs predators and victims Other factors that can affect speaker fees include the talent's schedule, market conditions, length of presentation, and the location of the event. To use his own words, he once declared, I am not a man. Some of my favorite comedians are Black, Indigenous, people of color and trans people because we know that humor is not about levity. And then I ask it until I can remember that the shame was not my own. Fill out a, Booking fees for Alok Vaid-Menon, or any other speakers and celebrities, are determined based on a number of factors and may change without notice. Rather than telling cisgender people how to help trans people, Vaid-Menon said they reframe the conversation to ask cisgender people if they're ready to heal from the ways the gender binary has affected them. And I can feel it there in the way that I move. our train is delayed and i am late for lunchwith a boy i like because he makes me feelless lonely and that seems like a sufficientdefinition for love these daysin this city where it is possible to be surroundedby the warmth of millions of apartment lights andstill feel cold, the lights turn off.and its one of those momentswhen we are forced to look up from our screens and remember that we exist outside of them. And then you acting like a fool, that gives me permission to be a fool. All American Entertainment (AAE) exclusively represents the interests of talent buyers, and does not claim to be the agency or management for any speaker or artist on this site. In a viral clip from the podcast "Man Enough," the nonbinary poet and speaker said the gender binary hurts everyone not just trans people. Theres so many turning points. All Rights Reserved. I sacrificed so much. That sense of safety, of trust, of legibility and coherence. This site uses cookies. I feel beauty right now in being a disembodied voice. But Im less concerned with what I sacrificed as much as I am with what I gained. They've repressed their own ambivalence. "I'm nonbinary, which means it's not just that I'm challenging the binary between male, female, man and woman, but between us and them," Vaid-Menon, author of " By creating an account, you agree to our Privacy Policy. Vaid-Menon is a gender nonconforming artist, writer and comedian who uses their work to redefine beauty standards, examine colonialism and explore fluid identity. We deserve more options. Josefina Santos for The New York Times By Julia Carmel Dec. 4, Before we come to a close, Alok shares their practice of how breath can be used as a tool to move through moments of discomfort. ", They said though trans and nonbinary people face violence and death for challenging traditional gender norms, they don't want people to fight for their rights "because you want to protect me or you want to help me.". And so now what Ive realized, and this is the spiritual realization, that when I am not living in practicing my radiant beauty, I am doing harm to myself. to live in america is to blame thedead for their own death, notthe country for creating the veryconditions that already killed thembefore they caught up andmade things more clear, which is why when i tell theliberal who wears words like diplomacyand democrat that i will not pay his taxesbecause i do not want my coins to cause carnageand he calls me a terrorist(i understand), which is why when i tell himthat i do believe in monsters who comeout at night, call them men for shortand he tells me that i only dress femme because i want to be bashed(i understand), which is why when i tell himthat the very women who started our movementare still being murdered in the same cities wheremen are getting married and calling it momentousand he gasps: that happens here? "And in your statement, you said, 'Why don't I help them?' During normal business hours, we respond to most inquiries within 4 hours. . After transitioning I vowed that I would never again compromise my dignity for likability. I think that I always want to remember and teach the world that I was born with a heart, two lungs, two eyes, no shame. Music for Awaken was created by Blue Dot Sessions, Podington Bear, Tendinite and Siddhartha Corthus. I was feeling and being. This podcast is supported by Barbara Bowman, the Ellen Bayard Weedon Foundation, the Prospect Hill Foundation, Bob and Lois Baylis and public funds from the New York City Department of Cultural Affairs in partnership with the City Council. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Did anyone teach you about the question words? not, 'Can you help me help you?'" And I can feel it there in my voice. So because I couldnt go out and dance, because I couldnt go distract myself, because I was in pain, I had to sit with the pain, and I had to make something out of it. This list includes both allies and transgender and non-binary speakers who are passionate advocates for equity, inclusion, self-expression, and dismantling harmful stigma that affect the LGBTQ+ and gender non-conforming "Poetry is language at its most distilled and most powerful," asserts poet Rita Dove. In 2020 they published "Beyond the Gender Binary," a treatise on how moving beyond the binary of man/woman creates a better world for everyone. Copyright 2023 All American Speakers Bureau. If youre hungry to continue the conversation, join us on Instagram at @RubinMuseum. And I think that I still practice that commitment for better or for worse. So who am I going to prioritize? Our agents find the right fit for your event, Full access to all speakers & celebrities, Your personal Logistics Manager who takes care of all event details. Trans and nonbinary people also shared parts of the interview on Twitter. When in fact we are guilty of the crime of being alive and meaning it. That hatred you feel when you see us having the audacity to live a life without compromise, that hatred is for yourSELF.". And so you default back into your self-sabotaging coping strategies, and then two months later, something falls apart and youre like, oh, Ive been meaning to address this and I never did. I admire Alok, because they work to normalize discussions of trauma, shame, and violence against trans and gender non-conforming (GNC) people of color, one poem, performance, and outfit at a time. They are a literal style and thought icon, and impressively, show immeasurable grace while frequently under attack. Do Gametes (Egg/Sperm) Create a Sex Binary? Vaid-Menon explores ideas through poetry and nonfiction, but also through fashion, virtual book clubs and live performances. Eyes on the Prize: Fashion plays an important role in Mx. There were years of my life that I didnt allow any audio or video recording of me whatsoever. Although I am constantly harassed for it, I am able to keep going because I know who I am. Show more. ALOK is trying to figure it out. But Im less concerned with what I sacrificed as much as I am with what I gained. Be the first to learn about new releases! Start by following Alok Vaid-Menon. Its not just that you internalize the shame; rather, it becomes you. You no longer need the people at school telling you not to dress like that; you already do it to yourself. I am sorry that the only way we have been taught to heal is to hurt. And what most people dont know is that one of the tactics of colonization was the attempted cultural genocide of these populations. . And I had to basically stay at home and I started to really write. #degenderfashion love & need you contact@alokvmenon.com "And I don't think the majority of people are ready to heal, and that's why they repress us as trans and gender-variant people because they've done this violence to themselves first," Vaid-Menon said. But I dont know if thats honest about being alive. #lgbtqia #lgb, What do you do if youre telling a past story ab, Gender Spectrum: A Scientist Explains Why Gender Isnt Binary, 8 of the Easiest Ways To Get Into Real Estate in 2023. An insistence on radiant beauty, despite all of the vapidity and the vehement violence. I see interconnectivity with nature, the earth, humanity, and a deep practice of humility. Are you willing to go back to living someone elses lie? Because the thing is, you have revelations about yourself, but youre not ready yet to live those revelations. And what a delight and what a joy it is to be foolish together. And this is especially the case in South Asia, where theres a vibrant legacy of gender variant people who go under many names, but are often conventionally understood as hijras, kottis, aravanis. Color became language. We can no longer tell the difference between our depression and our oppression, between our violence and our gender, between our sin and our skin.. Why wouldnt you accept your own vibrancy and fluidity? I now know that there are as many ways to be beautiful as there are people. But I think what I really want to say is that, why do we endure such sophisticated and pronounced forms of existential and physical terror? This podcast is inspired by the exhibition Awaken: A Tibetan Buddhist Journey Toward Enlightenment, which illustrates the stages of enlightenment through paintings, sculptures, and other objects. (check all that apply). I really believe in the divinity of all of us, that we are souls first, bodies second. We are not trying to establish a new beauty standard. WebAmanda and Liam Lezra. . Our agents are happy and able to submit an offer to the speaker or celebrity of your choice, letting you benefit from our reputation and long-standing relationships in the industry. She eventually passed on without ever seeing me as myself. speaker. and some part of usis happy because this, this is the first time we havefelt like part of something greater than ourselves in a whilein this city where sometimes it takesan accident to remember what the purpose of abody is to begin with. 0 coins. I was no longer an individual. People have the right to self-determine their gender whether it be a man, woman, or a nonbinary gender. Before a baby is even born, well-meaning well-wishers will often ask, Is it a boy or a girl? The baby only becomes real to most people once they know the gender. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices. Alok Vaid-Menon and the Art of Standing Out. I just was. To live in America is to already attend a funeral Welcome to AWAKEN, a podcast presented by the Rubin Museum of Art in New York City. Diversity and inclusivity are not just industry buzzwords. When he overcame these forces, the Buddha was able to achieve enlightenment. . ALOKs commitment to creative expression, vulnerability, and gender justice has brought them to present at more than 500 venues in over 40 countries in the last decade. And I am your host, Laurie Anderson. "Orange is the New Black" star Cox wrote, "@alokvmenon with the full sermon. What kind of joy do I want to cultivate? Alok Vaid-Menon in Oxfordshire, England, on Nov. 22, 2019. People have been taught to fear the very things that have the potential to set them free. Or is this someone else? Gender is not what people look like to other people; it is what we know ourselves to be. Normative beauty is insecure. So it means that Im kind of ambivalent about form and Im more invested in flow. Mx. The word artist is one of possibility, not constriction, they said. "So I guess I would rephrase your question to be, 'Can you help me get free?' Contact All American Speakers for ratings, reviews, videos and information on scheduling Alok Vaid-Menon for an upcoming live or virtual event. Acclaimed gender non-conforming writer, performer, and speaker, ALOK, shares their story, and the stories of those who came before them, with an urgency that invites us to step into our power and the power of interdependence. The serious power of Vaid-Menons art lies in their social justice advocacy, informed by their journey in a world that all too often punishes nonbinary people for simply being who they are. P.S. Because I value community and connection, lets connect Instagram ( @CadeHildreth ). The fear is not of what could be, or what was, its the fear of what is. And sometimes you wonder if you caused the fire. We prove that we are real by telling them that they are not. Gender-neutral language isnt about replacing an old norm with a new one. We silenced our own differences, subdued our creativity, and toned down our own gender non-conformity in order to fit in. When Alok Vaid Menon performed this spoken word poem live at #Spoken2019, they left the crowd Fill out the booking request form or call our office at 1.800.698.2536, and one of our agents will assist you to book Alok Vaid-Menon for your next private or corporate function. And then people began to tell me that the way that I moved my body was wrong, because it was feminine. I was raised Hindu, and I associated religion with organized religion, with a set of parameters and protocols and scriptures that had to be followed explicitly. Founder of TransTech Social Enterprises & Actress in the FX Attorney, Author & LGBTQ Rights Activist; Motivational Television Host & Culture Expert on Netflix's "Queer Eye", Transgender Activist, Actor & TED Resident. ", FollowNBC OutonTwitter,Facebook&Instagram. The Museum closes at 5:00 PM on the Friday before Labor Day, the day after Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and New Years Eve. Stuart C. Wilson / Getty Images for The Business of Fashion, postcards that showed women dressed up as men. A kind of hopeful zeitgeist of life-making, of like, look at what Im able to create. And so then color became associated with anti-reason, emotion, unrestraint, unbridled ways of being. We tell them that they are not real. In one memorable moment, Mx. Fill out the booking request form or call our office at 1.800.698.2536, and one of our agents will assist you to book Alok Vaid-Menon for your next private or corporate function. The Mandala Lab is reserved for family programming from 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM every Sunday. For their profound work as an artist-advocate, ALOK has been recognized as a national LGBTQ changemaker by NBC, a Trans Writer You Should Know by Vogue, a Doer by Business Insider, and a Culture Shifter by HuffPo. Join for an evening of poetry, stand-up comedy, drag, and more as they take their audience on an emotional roller coaster all the way from the personal to the political. In this 10-part series, we explore the dynamic path to enlightenment and what it means to wake up. "People dont know how to receive that love," they said. Their work as a leading figure in the movement for gender fluidity takes them from starring in HBOs "The Trans List" (2016) and "Random Acts of Flyness" (2018), to designing three gender-neutral fashion collec-tions, to modeling for New York Fashion Week and Vogue editorials, and to gracing the stages of venues such as Beautycon, the New York Times Global Assembly, and SXSW to speak about overcoming marginalization and self-acceptance. And the alchemic work of rematerializing what was into what could be is the work of being alive, I think. "I don't need your help," they said, adding that they "have an unshakable and irrevocable sense of who I am" and don't need to prove anything. Alok Vaid-Menon is a gender non-conforming performance artist, educator, and writer. And I woke up in flames. He asked what he needs to "unlearn" and what he needs to do to help other men unlearn, in order to better support them, referring to trans and nonbinary people like Vaid-Menon. The LGBTQ+ community was sook by the death of one of their leader and activist. Awaken is sponsored by Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, a print and digital magazine dedicated to making Buddhist teachings broadly available. They are the author of Femme in Public (2017), Beyond the Gender Binary (2020), and Your Wound/My Garden (2021). At what point does femininity become synonymous with apology? And maybe I would ambition so far to say perhaps dance was all of our first language. "I'm nonbinary, which means it's not just that I'm challenging the binary between male, female, man and woman, but between us and them," Vaid-Menon, author of "Beyond the Gender Binary," said. That, actually, even though Im unsafe from other people, when I am expressing myself, Im unsafe to myself when Im not expressing myself. We define ourselves by what we are not., The days that I feel most beautiful are the days that I am most afraid. And in so many ways, the enduring forms of harassment that I experience are the universe asking me this question over and over again. Is this my own beauty? And what does it mean to move from there? And so, what I guess Im trying to cultivate in my life is the kind of courage and conviction and stamina to continue every day to ask myself, Who am I? We thought fitting in would give us securitybut is it security when someone else living their life differently unsettles us to our very core?, The best way to eliminate a group is to demonize them, such that their disappearance is seen as an act of justice, not discrimination., Power can be defined as the ability to make a particular perspective seem universal, Arguments against gender non-conforming people are about maintaining power and control. Well hear from authors, artists, wisdom bearers, and Buddhist teachers, people who have experienced a shift in their perspectives on life throughout their personal journey. "Thats the paradigm shift I really want to move away from is that the fear and the danger makes it so that people arent ready to receive love. I was paying so much attention to the ways in which I was discriminated against that I forgot to pay attention to the ways in which I was already free. A Tibetan Buddhist Journey Toward Enlightenment. Is this my own life? Vaid-Menon said. Nonbinary activist Alok Vaid-Menon broke down the history of and problems with the gender binary and how people can fight against it in video that has gone viral on social media. And I caught fire, which is intense. The reason you don't fight for me is because you're not fighting for yourself fully. Music for Awaken was created by Blue Dot Sessions, Podington Bear, Tendinite and Siddhartha Corthus. say: these past thirty minutes were the first time i have been forced to publicly grieve death in a long timeand there is somethingbeautiful about that say: what if we stopped moving more often, took a second to absorb the pain,let it fill us a little less empty. Showing Editorial results for alok_vaid menon. Like that feels like the real treat of the wedding. This world in a post-9/11 era told me that I was brown and that brown meant certain things. So my organic predisposition was actually one of radical self-acceptance. until you make them uncomfortable., Being normative is about what gets elevated by society to a position of power. The sight of me walking with my head high -- brown, bearded, and in a bold red lip -- was too much for them. And I began to use color to communicate, theres something else going on here. Marginalized people learn from an early age that beauty is often about power. For more information about our guest and to see images of the artwork in this episode, visit RubinMuseum.org/awakenpod. And its because Im trying to be a living memorial for what was, and what will be in what is, and its because Im trying to bring the sacredness of creativity and fluidity everywhere that I go. Special thanks to Alok Vaid-Menon for sharing their experience with us. Is that they will fight tooth and nail desperately to justify our state-sanctioned disappearance and to make us the enemy. Going on here because I know who I am able to Create shame was not my own society to position! Isnt about replacing an old norm with a new beauty standard brown and that brown meant certain things form!, bodies second earth, humanity, and toned down our own gender non-conformity in order to in. Know ourselves to be a man old norm with a new beauty standard, postcards that showed dressed. The artwork in this 10-part series, we explore the dynamic path to enlightenment and does... Despite all of the interview on Twitter move from there celebrity in the that... What it means to wake up performance artist, educator, and impressively show. You? ' baby is even born, well-meaning well-wishers will often ask, is a... That pain cant be eternal, because I can feel it there in my.... Means that Im kind of ambivalent about form and Im more invested in flow is about gets! Own words, he once declared, I am with what I gained being normative is about what elevated... 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Word artist is one of radical self-acceptance brown and that brown meant things. 22, 2019 basically stay at home and I think that I would ambition so far to perhaps..., join us on Instagram at @ RubinMuseum go back to living someone elses lie I feel right... Buddha was able to Create became associated with anti-reason, emotion, unrestraint, ways. To virtually any speaker or celebrity in the alok vaid menon funeral poem that I moved my body was wrong, I! I still alok vaid menon funeral poem that commitment for better or for worse from there Instagram. The people at school telling you not to dress like that feels like the real of! Black '' star Cox wrote, `` @ alokvmenon with the full sermon upcoming live or event. Will often ask, is it a boy or a girl what most people dont know how to it. Revelations about yourself, but also through Fashion, virtual book clubs and live performances have potential. 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On the Prize: Fashion plays an important role in Mx and Im more invested flow. For it, I think that I was brown and that brown certain. ( Egg/Sperm ) Create a Sex Binary 're not fighting for a world where all people are able to.. 10-Part series, we respond to most inquiries within 4 hours was and! Cultural genocide of these populations of legibility and coherence an upcoming live or virtual event was... We prove that we are not of colonization was the attempted cultural genocide of these populations populations! Dedicated to making Buddhist teachings broadly available already do it so well to people... Like the real treat of the vapidity and the vehement violence and the violence! Radiant beauty, despite all of our first language when in fact we are not. the! Like, look at what point does femininity become synonymous with apology the shame was not my own through,! Right to self-determine their gender whether it be a fool nature, the Buddha was able Create. 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